Jesus Christ’s Sayings & Marriage Relationships:
They perceived He spake unto them?
President Fronk, Friday night session..
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President Fronk handed each of us a little booklet full of what Jesus said about how we should treat one another. He talked about his mission in Japan, how people there know as much about Christianity as we know about Shinto/Buddhism. Starting from square one, he told a middle aged man how God had a son who was born on Earth and walked among us for a time. The message sunk in, and this man, understanding that the actual son of God was here on Earth, excitedly asked, “What did he say? What did the son of God say?”
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President Fronk asked if we understood the magnitude of the words that we hold in our hands, suggested that we study what Jesus said, that we know what he said, that we carry the words of our Savior with us day by day. Contained in the booklet is a collection of the actual words that Jesus said concerning our relationships with one another. He asked us to take these words home, and read them once a day for three consecutive days. He asekd us to take the words of Jesus, and specifically apply them - not to strangers - but in our marriage and in our family..
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I have rearranged the book to the order we discussed it. We went over the Sower, the first parable that Jesus gave, first. The sower is not about relationships, it is about really seeing, hearing, understanding, letting the words take hold in our hearts. Who are we? Do these words of wisdom fall by the wayside when they reach our ears? Do these words fall on stony ground? Among thorns? Or are we good ground? Do we hold the seed, nourish it, keep it, bring forth fruit with it? Act on it? .The following are the words from the book that was handed out, words of our Savior, words we need to apply to all of our relationships, especially that eternal relationship we hold with our spouse:.
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Pg 7
The Sower – The first parable (Matt 13, Luke 8, Mark 4)
Jesus teaching from a ship to the multitude on the shore.
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Hearken; Behold, there went out a sower to sow his seed: And it came to pass, as he sowed, some fell by the way side, and the fowls of the air came and devoured it up. And some fell on stony ground, where it had not much earth; and immediately it sprang up, because it had no depth of earth: But when the sun was up, it was scorched; and because it had no root, it withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up, and choked it, and it yielded no fruit. And others fell on good ground, and did yield fruit that sprang up and increased; and brought forth, some thirty and some sixty and some a hundred..
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(and then Jesus was silent, rowed the boat back out into the lake, that is all the multitude heard that day… only the disciples heard a little more).
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pg 8
Jesus's interpretation of the parable:
The seed is the word of God; The sower soweth the word.
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Wayside:
And these are they by the way side, where the word is sown; but when they have heard, and understandeth it not, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts lest they should believe and be saved..
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Stony ground
And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately reveive it with gladness; and have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction, tribulation, temptation or persecution ariseth for the word’s sake, by and by they are offended and fall away.
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Among the Thorns
And These are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the word, and the cares of this world, pleasures of this life and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.
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Good Ground
And these are they which are sown on good ground; such as hear the word, and receive it, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the words keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some an hundred.
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Pg 1
And Jesus sad….
Divorce devised of men
Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Matt 19:8
Jesus said we should not put away our wives in divorcement save for the cause of fornication. Matt 5:32
He which made them at the beginning made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh. They are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God had joined together, let not man put asunder. Matt 19:4-9.
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Contention is of the Devil
Verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention. - 3 Nephi 11:29.
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Control Anger
Ye have heard t5hat it is said of them from old time, Thou shall not kill, but I say whosoever is angry with his brother, without a cause (omitted in JST & 3 Nephi) is in danger of Judgment, don’t say to your brother Raca (worthless) or refer to them as a fool. Matt 5:21-22
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you. Matt 5:44
Pg 2
Judge not; focus on your own blind spots
Judge not that he be not judged. First cast out the beam (log) out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote (silver) out of thy brother’s eye. Matt 7: 1-5
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Forgive
Forgive men their trespasses. Matt 6:14
If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. Matt 18:15
Forgive him not seven times but until seven times seven. Matt 18:22
Take heed to yourself; If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke (confront) him and if he repent, forgive him. Luke 17:3
To whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. Luke 7:47
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Reconcile
If thou bring thy gift before the alter (worhip) and remember that your brother hath aught (anything) against you, first be reconciled with your brother. Agree with (have kindly words for or be well disposed toward) your adversary quickly. Matt 5:22-25
Be HumbleFor whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased (humbled) and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted. Luke 14:11.
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Pg 3
Adultery starts with Lust
It was said of them of old time, Thou shall not commit adultery, but whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matt 5:28
Behold I give unto you a new commandment that he allow none of these things to enter into your heart. For it is better that he should deny yourselves of these things, wherein ye will take up your cross, than that he should be cast into hell. 3 Nephi 12:29-30 .
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Take retaliation out of your heart
Not “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth”, but rather; whosoever shall smite thee on they right cheek, turn to him the other also. If a man sue thee at law and take away thy coat let him have thy cloak also. Whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Matt 5:38-41.
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Accountable for idle words
Every idle word that men shall speak they shall give an account thereof in the day of Judgment for by thy words thou shall be justified and nby thy words thou shalt be condemned. Matt 12:36-37
Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man: but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Matt 15:11
But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart: for out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies, covetousness, wickedness, an evil eye, pride, foolishness. These are the things that defile a man. Matt 15:18-19 Mark 7:20-23.
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Pg 4
Murmur not
Murmur (complain) not among yourselves. John 6:43 In your patience possess ye your souls. Luke 21:19
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It is not about the stuff of this world
Take heed and beware of covetousness (stinginess) for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. Luke 12:15
Take heed to yourselves, lest at anytime your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting (overeating) and drunkenness, and cares of this life and so that day come upon you unawares. For as a snare. Watch ye therefore, and pray always that he may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass and to stand before the Son of man. Luke 21: 34-36
In the world ye shall have tribulations (trouble): but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world. John 16:33
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Drowned by child abuse
Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones. Matt 18:10
Whosoever shall offend (hurt) one of these little ones, it would be better for him that a millstone were hanged about their neck and they drowned in the depth of the sea. Matt 18:6.
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Pg 5
Service
Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them. Matt 7:12
He whosoever shall be great among you, chief among you, let him be your servant. Matt 20:26-27
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit; neither can corrupt trees bring forth good fruit, wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Matt 7:18-20
Do not your alms (service to the poor) to be seen of men, but rather do them in secret: let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth. Matt 6:1-3
Give and it shall be given unto you: good measure, pressed down and shaken together and running over. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again. Luke 6:38
When ye have done all those things which are commanded you say, we are unprofitable servant: we have done that which was our duty to do. Luke 17:10.
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Pg 6
Why call me Lord, Lord and do not the things which I say?
Whosoever heareth these saying of mine and doeth them, I will liken unto a wise man which built his house up on a rock. And the rain descended and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house and it fell not. Matt 7:24-25
Have ye understood all these things? Therefore every scribe (follower) which is instructed unto the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which bringeth forth out his treasured things new and old. Matt 13:51-52
Let these saying sink down into your ears for the son of man shall be delivered into the hands of men. Luke 9:44
Heaven and earth pass away: but my words shall not pass away. Luke 21:33
Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst: but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. John 4:14
It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. John 6:63
If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed: and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8:31-32
If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. John 14:23
These things I have spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. John 15:11
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. Ion the world ye shall have tribulations (trouble): but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world. John 16:33
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He concluded the lesson by talking about do's and don'ts. He had two signs:
three sided yield sign with:
Service, Forgiveness, Humility written on each side.
"don't" - big red 8 sided stop sign, on each side witten:
covet, contend, judge, speak ill, lust, retaliate, anger, divorce
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Intimacy in a Celestial Marriage
Friday night session, Bishop Maranto
Why this Topic?
“If you study the divorces, as we have had to do in these past years, you will find there are one, two, three, four reasons. Generally sex is the first. They did not get along sexually. They may not say that in court. They may not even tell that to their attorneys, but that is the reason.” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 312.)
“Many marriages have been wrecked on the dangerous rocks of ignorant and debased sex behavior, both before and after marriage. Gross ignorance on the part of newlyweds on the subject of the proper place and functioning of sex results in much unhappiness and many broken homes.”
“Thousands of young people come to the marriage altar almost illiterate insofar as this basic and fundamental function is concerned..If they would frankly discuss the delicate and sanctifying aspects of harmonious sex life which are involved in marriage, … much sorrow, heartbreak, and tragedy could be avoided.” (Hugh B. Brown, You and Your Marriage, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1960, pp. 22–23, 73.)
“…In spite of the potential for joy that comes from sexuality in marriage, many couples find their sexual relationship to be a source of frustration and even contention. Indeed, the inability of married couples to intimately relate to each other is one of the major causes of divorce.
“But we also believe in the good that comes from appropriate intimacy in marriage. We are well aware of the joy and unity that can come to a married couple when they nurture this part of their relationship.” (Brent A. Barlow, “They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage,” Ensign, September 1986)
Sexual Intimacy is Ordained of God
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (cross reference 1 Corinthians 6:16)
“Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love within marriage.” LDS.org
“…Human intimacy is reserved for a married couple because it is the ultimate symbol of total union, a totality and a union ordained and defined by God.” Jeffery R. Holland, “Personal Purity”
“Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love within marriage.” “Chastity,” True to the Faith
“…Sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.” Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 1, 2006 (pp.186-187)
“The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes plain that God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be ‘one flesh’ was as important as his command to ‘be fruitful and multiply.’ ” (Spencer W. Kimball, quoting Billy Graham, Ensign, May 1974, p. 7.)
Proverbs 5:18-19Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
What is Appropriate?
“…Physical intimacy within the proper bonds of marriage can and should become a spiritually bonding force within marriage. Unfortunately, some couples fail to realize that ‘sexual experiences were never intended by the Lord to be a mere plaything or merely to satisfy passions and lusts.’ (Spencer W. Kimball) When couples engage in physical intimacy devoid of emotional and spiritual intimacy, or when they participate in unholy practices, what should be a spiritually bonding element in their marriage may actually become a disruptive force. Physical intimacy is an area that the husband and wife must also discuss with complete emotional honesty, ‘that their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love.’ “ (Col. 2:2.), “Finding Marital Unity through the Scriptures,” Spencer J. Condie, Ensign, July 1986
“Even though sex can be an important and satisfactory part of married life, we must remember that life is not designed just for sex. Even marriage does not make proper certain extremes in sexual indulgence.” Spencer W. Kimball, Miracle of Forgiveness
“President Kimball has said: ‘We know of no directive from the Lord that proper sexual experiences between husbands and wives need be limited totally to the procreation of children.’ (Ensign, October 1975, p. 4.) Creating children is an integral and beautiful aspect of marital intimacy. But to use intimacy only for that purpose is to deny its great potential as an expression of love, commitment, and unity.
“On the other hand, there are couples who seem to feel that the only reason for sexuality is physical gratification. These people become so obsessed with achieving pleasure that the emotion of love is all but forgotten. Still others use sexuality as a weapon or a bargaining tool. This is not only a misuse of a God-given privilege, it shows great selfishness on the part of one or both partners and makes sexuality a destructive rather than a unifying element in marriage.” (Brent A. Barlow, “They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage,” Ensign, September 1986)
“…Sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional [bonds] and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.” Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 1, 2006 (pp.186-187)
Galations 5:22-23But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.
Ephesians 5:9-10(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
Is it appropriate? Ask…Do we feel greater love for each other?Is our emotional bond strengthened?Is our spiritual bond is strengthened?
D&C 58:26-28 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
“Birth Control,” Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 1, 2006 (pp.186-187)
It is the privilege of married couples who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for the spirit children of God, whom they are then responsible to nurture and rear. The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter.
Married couples should also understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.
“Surgical Sterilization (Including Vasectomy),” Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 1, 2006 (p. 188)
The Church strongly discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. It should be considered only it (1) medical conditions seriously jeopardize life or health or (2) birth defects or serious trauma have rendered a person mentally incompetent and not responsible for his or her actions. Such conditions must be determined by competent medical judgment and in accordance with law. Even then, the persons responsible for this decision should consult with each other and with their bishop and should receive divine confirmation of their decision through prayer.
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Communication
Saturday morning session, Bishop and sister Larsen
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Communication is largely a function of the heart. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” (Mathew 12:34) There are incidences of both negative and positive communication in the scriptures. Negative communication can destroy relationships; positive communication builds and edifies. Elder Ashton said if we would know true love and understanding one for another, we must realize that communication is more than sharing of words. I t is the wise sharing of emotions, feelings, and concerns. It is the sharing of oneself totally.
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Relationships are established upon the comfort and trust created by sincere communication. Positive communication increases the likelihood of greater commitment, better conflict resolution, and more love between partners. Good communication begins with a righteous heart that desires the welfare of the partner. However, a good heart with no communication skills may lead to misunderstandings. On the other hand, skillful communication from a selfish heart is generally just manipulation.
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Comment by Brother Carl Rasmussen I think should be included: Sometimes people use the wrong words, but somehow the right message comes through. Other times people carefully choose the right words, but another message comes through. What is in your heart comes through. We should worry about having a good heart more than worrying about choosing the right words. (If you have a hard heart, it is very easy to clearly let someone know “am I angry/upset/offended etc. etc. but this is not communication. Communication is a two-way street. Anything coming from a hard heart will put up barriers between you and others, making it a one-way conversation, not a two way sharing of souls.)
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Elements of Love
Care:
“love is the active concern for the life and growth of that which we love.” Love and labor are inseparable. An example would be mother love, bathe, feed their children. If we say we love flowers but do not water them, there is no love.
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Responsibility:
in its truest form, it is the involuntary act of responding to the needs, expressed or unexpressed, of another human being. To be responsible means to be ready to respond. An example: a husband said, “Dinner’s almost ready” while his wife divided her attention between reading and watching TV. She doesn’t respond so he goes over to the couch where she sat and said, “How’s your book Hon?” She ignored him again and he then kissed her twice and she was unresponsive to his kisses. “Is that book good?” he asked/ she says, “Yes, it has nice pictures in it.” That ends the conversation.
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Respect:
from Latin (respicere – to look at) the ability to see a person as he or she is; to be aware of his or her unique individuality. Implies the absence of exploitation. We want the loved person to grow and unfold for his own sake and in his own ways. And not for the purpose of serving me. (Make other the “end” rather than the “means” to your end.)
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Knowledge:
We enjoy discovering as much as we can about the things we truly care about. If it’s about sports, we read articles; cooking, we watch cooking shows. “How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding” Prov
Ask yourself:
Do you love them because you need them?
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do you need them because you love them?
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Scriptures to ponder:
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
(New Testament Ephesians
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34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.
36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
(New Testament Matthew
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From the heart…
17 Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, efalse witness, blasphemies:
20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
(New Testament Matthew
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6 Hear; for I will speak of excellent things; and the opening of my lips shall be right things.
7 For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.
8 All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them.
9 They are all plain to him that understandeth, and right to them that find knowledge.
(Old Testament Proverbs 8:6 - 9)
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1 A SOFT answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
(Old Testament Proverbs 15:1 - 2)
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28 The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.
(Old Testament Proverbs
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6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
(New Testament Colossians 4:6)
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photocopy charts from book
“Strengthening our families: An In-Depth look at the Proclamation on the family”
– Preparing for an Eternal Marriage pg 35-36
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3.1 Characteristics of immature and mature love
Aspects of Love: Emotional Part of Love
Immature Love: Possessiveness, Jealousy, Infatuation, Preoccupation, Anxiety
Mature Love: Lasting Passion, desire for companionship, Warm Feeling of Contentment
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Aspects of Love: Belief Part of Love
Immature Love: Love is blind, love is external to us, cupid’s arrow, love is beyond our control.
Mature Love: Love is something you have to decide, love means: commitment, trust sharing, sacrifice
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Aspects of Love: Behavior Part of Love
Immature Love: Selfish, Lustful, Concern only for satisfying own needs, clinging, over-dependent, demanding of obedience from partner.
Mature Love: Creates an environment of growth and development, allows partner space for growth.
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3.2 selected scriptural references to negative and positive communication
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Scriptural reference: Eph 4:29, 31-32
Negative communication (that which destroys): Corrupt, bitter, angry, loud, malicious
Positive communication (that which builds): Edifying, gracious, kind
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Scriptural reference: Matt
Negative communication (that which destroys): From an evil heart, idle words, resulting in condemnation
Positive communication (that which builds): tenderhearted, forgiving
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Scriptural reference: Matt
Negative communication (that which destroys): from an evil heart, a mouth that defiles, from evil thoughts, evil deeds
Positive communication (that which builds): from a good heart, good things, resulting in being justified
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Scriptural reference: Prov 8: 6-9
Negative communication (that which destroys): wickedness, rudeness, perversion
Positive communication (that which builds):
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Scriptural reference: Prov 15:1-2
Negative communication (that which destroys): grievous words stir up anger. Fools speak foolishness
Positive communication (that which builds): Excellent things, right things, truth, righteousness, plainness
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Scriptural reference: Prov 15:28
Negative communication (that which destroys):
Positive communication (that which builds): Heart of righteous studieth his answer
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Scriptural reference:
Negative communication (that which destroys):
Positive communication (that which builds): Speech with grace, seasoned with salt
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Scriptural reference: D&C 121:41-45
Negative communication (that which destroys): Reproving, correcting, without the Holy Ghost and without an increase in love.
Positive communication (that which builds): Speech with contrite spirit, meek language that edifies. Speech that demonstrates persuasion, long suffering, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, pure knowledge, without hypocrisy, without guile. Reproof or correction only when moved upon by the Holy Ghost and with an increase in love.
Priesthood in the Partnership
Saturday morning session, Bishop Maranto.
- Why do men hold the priesthood and women do not?
- How should the husband “rule over” his wife?
- Do men preside because they are better leaders?
Christ Like Leadership Attributes
Organized (Compare YM/YW presidents)
Decisive (Women do what feels right/Men analyze)
Spiritual (Women are intuitive – naturally open to impressions of the Spirit)
Loving/Compassionate
Selfless
Elder John A. Widtsoe said: “The Priesthood always presides and must, for the sake of order. The women of a congregation or auxiliary—many of them—may be wiser, far greater in mental powers, even greater in natural power of leadership than the men who preside over them” (Priesthood and Church Government, compiled by John A. Widtsoe, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1939, page 90).
If women could be better leaders, why do men lead in the Church?
Adam and Eve
Who was the leader and who was the follower?
Three commandments:
• Cleave to each other
• Multiply and replenish the earth
• Do not partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil
Lucifer tempts Adam and Eve
• Told Adam that the fruit was good to the taste and very desirable (appealed to the flesh).
• Told Eve that the fruit was good to the taste and very desirable (appealed to the flesh).
• Told Eve the fruit would make her wise and that she would become as the Gods knowing good and evil (appealed to the spirit).
• Eve asked, “Is there no other way?”
Eve tempts Adam
• Told Adam that the fruit was good to the taste and very desirable (appealed to the flesh).
• Explained to Adam that if he didn’t partake of the fruit, he would be left alone in the garden and unable to keep the commandments to be with her and to multiply and replenish the earth (appealed to the spirit).
Roles of Adam and Eve
• Eve was the leader.
o Eve intuitively recognized the opportunity to become more like God.
o She acted decisively.
o She persuaded Adam to partake.
o She led Adam to the path to exaltation.
• Adam was the submissive follower.
o Submitted to the will of the Father by resisting Lucifer’s initial temptation.
o Submitted to the will of the Father by resisting Eve’s initial temptation.
o Submitted to the will of the Father by choosing to partake to keep the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.
o Submitted to his wife’s wise counsel and leadership.
Perhaps women are natural leaders and men are natural followers.
A marriage counselor observed that when a husband and wife are having difficulties in their marriage, almost without exception, the wife seeks to control the situation and the husband seeks to submit. (The woman takes the lead and the man follows.)
Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
If women are natural leaders and men are natural followers as one might hypothesize, why did God switch their roles and appoint the man to lead?
Genesis 1: 26-27
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
A man cannot become like God, a perfect being, unless he develops those godly attributes that are not inherent in him, such as the attributes that are inherent in women. Also, a woman cannot become like God, a perfect being, unless she develops those godly attributes that are not inherent in women, such as those that are inherent in men.
As men preside in the church and in the home, they learn to be organized, decisive, spiritual, loving, compassionate and selfless, to name a few.
Elder Stephen L Richards declared: “The Priesthood is usually simply defined as ‘the power of God delegated to man.’ This definition, I think, is accurate. But for practical purposes I like to define the Priesthood in terms of service and I frequently call it ‘the perfect plan of service.’ I do so because it seems to me that it is only through the utilization of the divine power conferred on men that they may ever hope to realize the full import and vitality of this endowment. It is an instrument of service."
In short, our Father, in a very natural way, has placed us in unnatural roles that we might learn to be more like him as we develop the characteristics less common to our gender.
Husband to Rule
What do you think of when you hear the word “rule?” (tyranny, unrighteous dominion, etc.)
When the Father instructed Adam to “rule over” his wife, Adam understood the word “rule” in the only context he had observed—the “rule” of his loving, compassionate Father.
Paul has counseled, “Husbands, love [rule] your wives, even as Christ also loved [ruled] the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). In commenting on this counsel, President Kimball provided this important insight:
“Can you think of how [Christ] loved the church? Its every breath was important to him. Its every growth, its every individual, was precious to him. He gave to those people all his energy, all his power, all his interest. He gave his life—and what more could one give? … When the husband is ready to treat his household in that manner, not only his wife but also his children will respond to his loving and exemplary leadership. It will be automatic. He won’t need to demand it. …
“Certainly if fathers are to be respected, they must merit respect: If they are to be loved, they must be consistent, lovable, understanding, and kind—and they must honor their priesthood” (Men of Example, pamphlet, Salt Lake City: Church Educational System, 1973, page 5).
Wives Should Submit
Wives, submit to your husbands (Eph. 5:22-28), not because you are inferior, but because your husband is and needs to develop your godly attributes. Allow your husband to be the spiritual leader in the home even if he is spiritually weaker.
President Thomas S. Monson: Both husband and wife should appreciate that “woman was taken out of man; not out of his feet to be trampled underfoot, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.” Be patient, be tender, be loving, be considerate, be understanding. Be your best self as you sustain your husband, remembering that children often outgrow their need for affection, but husbands never do. (“The Spirit of Relief Society”)
President Joseph Fielding Smith taught, “There is nothing in the teachings of the gospel which declares that men are superior to women,” he said. “The Lord has given unto men the power of priesthood and sent them forth to labor in his service. The woman’s calling is in a different direction. The most noble, exalting calling of all is that which has been given to women as the mothers of men. Women do not hold the priesthood, but if they are faithful and true they will become priestesses and queens in the kingdom of God, and that implies that they will be given authority. The women do not hold the priesthood with their husbands, but they do reap the benefits coming from that priesthood” (Doctrines of Salvation, 3 volumes, compiled by Bruce R. McConkie, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1954–56, 3:178; italics in original).
Elder John A. Widstoe said, “No man who understands the gospel believes that he is greater than his wife, or more beloved of the Lord, because he holds the priesthood” (Evidences and Reconciliations, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1960, p. 308).
We are the product of our core genetics, our personality, and our behaviors. Our genetics and personalities do not change. We change our behaviors as required by our environment.
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Financial Stability in Marriage
taught by Robert & Susie Mathews
FAMILY FINANCES - Saturday Morning session.
Dear Brothers and Sisters:
Latter-day Saints have been counseled for many years to prepare for adversity by having a little money set aside. Doing so adds immeasurably to security and well-being. Every family has a responsibility to provide for its own needs to the extent possible.
We encourage you wherever you may live in the world to prepare for adversity by looking to the condition of your finances. We urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt. Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from this bondage. Save a little money regularly to gradually build a financial reserve.
If you have paid your debts and have a financial reserve, even though it be small, you and your family will feel more secure and enjoy greater peace in your hearts. May the Lord bless you in your family financial efforts.
The First Presidency, All Is Safely Gathered In: Family Finances, Feb. 2007, 1
THE BASICS OF FAMILY FINANCES
• PAY TITHES AND OFFERINGS
• AVOID DEBT
• USE A BUDGET
• BUILD A RESERVE
• TEACH FAMILY MEMBERS
PAY TITHES AND OFFERINGS
Successful family finances begin with the payment of an honest tithe and the giving of a generous fast offering. The Lord has promised to open the windows of heaven and pour out great blessings upon those who pay tithes and offerings faithfully (see Malachi 3:10).
Elder Holland:
Pay your tithing as a declaration that possession of material goods and the accumulation of worldly wealth are not the uppermost goals of your existence. As one young husband and father, living on a student budget, recently told me, “Perhaps our most pivotal moments as Latter-day Saints come when we have to swim directly against the current of the culture in which we live. Tithing provides just such a moment. Living in a world that emphasizes material acquisition and cultivates distrust for anyone or anything that has designs on our money, we shed that self-absorption to give freely, trustingly, and generously. By this act, we say—indeed—we are different, that we are God’s peculiar people. In a society that tells us money is our most important asset, we declare emphatically it is not.”
Some thoughts;
• Besides spiritual blessings Tithing teaches us to live on less than we earn.
• Teaches control and trust
• Encourages us to be honest.
• Helps us focus on spiritual needs more than physical wants; helps us overcome the things of the world.
• Rightfully claim promised blessings
AVOID DEBT
Spending less money than you make is essential to your financial security. Avoid debt, with the exception of buying a modest home or paying for education or other vital needs. Save money to purchase what you need. If you are in debt, pay it off as quickly as possible.
Distinguish between Needs and Wants
We must learn to distinguish between wants and needs. We should be modest in our wants. It takes self-discipline to avoid the “buy now, pay later” philosophy and to adopt the “save now and buy later” practice.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught: “All too often a family's spending is governed more by their yearning than by their earning. They somehow believe that their life will be better if they surround themselves with an abundance of things. All too often all they are left with is avoidable anxiety and distress” ("Earthly Debts, Heavenly Debts," Ensign, May 2004, 42).
Elder N Eldon Tanner Taught -- Live on less than you earn. I have discovered that there is no way that you can ever earn more than you can spend. I am convinced that it is not the amount of money an individual earns that brings peace of mind as much as it is having control of his money. Money can be an obedient servant but a harsh taskmaster. Those who structure their standard of living to allow a little surplus, control their circumstances. Those who spend a little more than they earn are controlled by their circumstances. They are in bondage. President Grant once said: “If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family, it is to live within our means. And if there is any one thing that is grinding and discouraging and disheartening, it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet” (Gospel Standards, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1941, p. 111).
Elder Hales, in the last General Conference said the following as it relates to debt:
Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).
Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. In both temporal and spiritual things, obtaining this divine assistance enables us to become provident providers for ourselves and others.
Being provident providers, we must keep that most basic commandment, “Thou shalt not covet” (Exodus 20:17). Our world is fraught with feelings of entitlement. Some of us feel embarrassed, ashamed, less worthwhile if our family does not have everything the neighbors have. As a result, we go into debt to buy things we can’t afford—and things we do not really need. Whenever we do this, we become poor temporally and spiritually. We give away some of our precious, priceless agency and put ourselves in self-imposed servitude. Money we could have used to care for ourselves and others must now be used to pay our debts. What remains is often only enough to meet our most basic physical needs. Living at the subsistence level, we become depressed, our self-worth is affected, and our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and the Lord are weakened. We do not have the time, energy, or interest to seek spiritual things.
Getting and Staying out of Debt
We should avoid debt. There is nothing that will cause greater tensions in life than grinding debt, which will make the debtor a slave to creditors. A specific goal, careful planning, and determined self-discipline are required to accomplish this.
These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!” (Elder Hales April 2009 Conference)
USE A BUDGET
Pres Kimball – “Every family should have a budget”.
Keep a record of your expenditures. Record and review monthly income and expenses. Determine how to reduce what you spend for nonessentials. Use this information to establish a family budget. Plan what you will give as Church donations, how much you will save, and what you will spend for food, housing, utilities, transportation, clothing, insurance, and so on. Discipline yourself to live within your budget plan. (See the Budget Worksheet on the back page.)
• Tithing first; always put some money away for savings.
• Use a simple budget – begin with listing all expenses.
BUILD A RESERVE
Gradually build a financial reserve, and use it for emergencies only. If you save a little money regularly, you will be surprised how much accumulates over time.
President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught: “Set your houses in order. If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts” ("To the Boys and to the Men," Ensign, Nov. 1998, 54).
START EARLY
TEACH FAMILY MEMBERS
Teach family members the principles of financial management. Involve them in creating a budget and setting family financial goals. Teach the principles of hard work, frugality, and saving. Stress the importance
Elder Ashton:
Recently I had the opportunity to visit with a choice young couple. They were to be married within the week. Their eyes sparkled in anticipation of the important event and with evidence of their continuing love for one another. Both had the advantages of college education, good homes, and cultural experiences. It was delightful to share their personalities, plans, and potentials. Their courtship already seemed appropriately launched on an eternal basis.
During our interview, their responses to only one question gave me concern. I hope my anxieties and suggestions caused them to reassess their pending partnership. To the question, “Who is going to manage the money in your marriage?” she replied, “He is, I guess.” He responded, “We haven’t talked about that yet.” These comments surprised and shocked me.
How important are money management and finances in marriage and family affairs? May I respond, “Tremendously.” The American Bar Association has indicated that 89 percent of all divorces can be traced to quarrels and accusations over money. Others have estimated that 75 percent of all divorces result from clashes over finances. Some professional counselors indicate that four out of five families are strapped with serious money problems.
I testify that the appetite to possess worldly things can only be overcome by turning to the Lord. The hunger of addiction can only be replaced by our love for Him. He stands ready to help each one of us. “Fear not,” He said, “for you are mine, and I have overcome the world” (D&C 50:41).
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